My Perfect Pace

What have you come to tell me?
What I already know.
From a glimpse into my soul,
You'd find I'm moving slow.
Slow as a cloud travels
On the calmest of days.
Slow as the my mind watches
The night's comets and rays.
I couldn't comprehend
Another way to live.
My fingers touch and feel
But my grip will surely give.
And when I let go
Touch becomes a memory.
One to hold and keep
Like a letter sent for me.
The handwritten page
Ingrained into my sight.
It takes for me to read
As long as was to write.
To appreciate time
As the tortoise taught me,
I remember every line
Held with lock and key.
Slow as I feel
Every grain of dirt beneath.
Slow as I feel
Every secret that I keep.
Slow as I feel
Every step and every stutter.
Slow as I ignore
The glamour and the clutter.

-miguel

Borrow Me

As the sun rises up,
I'm awakened and renewed.
A sea of new colors
To cover up the blue.
In this time as I
Await for my life.
Every step is heavy,
Every breath is light.

So I rise up ready,
To start the new day,
My melody is kept,
Forever on replay.
I gaze towards the day
Standing right before me
Another blue chapter,
The pages of my story.

The pages of my book,
Spine worn and cracked.
The sheets colored blue.
And ink colored black.
The pages worth a pity,
Though words are of beauty.
Onlookers pass a glance,
And readers see right through me.

Blue remains the color,
The wavelength of my soul.
Vibrating through my veins,
To warm it from the cold.
Light in the morning,
Like the color of the sky,
And the boldest of blue,
As the night sweeps by.

What am I to do,
When they ask how I am?
I reply that I am fine-
I remain an honest man.
A cracked, broken soul,
Old as the tallest tree,
Resides in my own hands,
Resides inside of me.

But God gave me the strength,
And I hold it as my treasure,
To carry this old soul,
As blue becomes my pleasure.
Old, blue, renewed,
Carried within my hands.
Old, New, and Blue,
As it is in God's plan.

-miguel

Inside

Calm as the fog of dawn,

While fire burns inside.

A true picture painted,

On both sides of the glass.

Stained only by vision,

Both yours and mine to have.

I see clearly what you

Would like to have me see.

But where are my manners?

I must return the favor.

Give me some time,

I will show you all there is.

But it is not a flip to see

Another side of a coin.

Rather you will see the rings

That make me stand and sway.

-miguel

Crawl

Flat- Line: The only thing I saw inside my mind.
Fast-forward through my life was like... pressin rewind.
I was- always on time, standin in the wrong line.
Followed- the wrong signs, fallin behind.
Addicted to their- greater design, I'm blind.
Leaving the truth, but I- paid it no mind.
I'm fine now, the only thing I
Needed was some time to find
a kind of fix, something to
take me to bliss. Genie,
grant me a wish.
Is this- world that I know, All I
will ever see?
The pieces from a different puzzle
Standin right next to me.
Please believe, and know I'd never
Ask for this.
Turning the pieces into shreds
Just tryin to make em fit. But shit!
My attempts to reach out
Always quickly cut down,
So I'm on my knees now
Achin for a rebound.

Thinkin I might- just throw it all.

But with hands on the ground...

I begin to crawl.

I begin to crawl.
Always moving.
Always moving.
Forward.

Beautiful kiss of death
Why you- enchant me so?
Since birth, your question and answer
is all I've come to know.
To a- forgotten kid, whose
life is full of shit
The future holds the key
To every single benefit.
So, um- what an irony it'd be?
To lose that path ahead,
the path standin right in front of me.
And in this world where irony is life.
The question and answer played through
My left and right, every night.
So uhh- Fuck waitin for the elevator,
I BEEN takin the stairs
All my life, G. So incite me.
Every step taken hard as the stone beneath,
not one is taken lightly, since 1990.
My first steps. Don't forget.
It's always fuck the radio.
Build my City Music Hall
Pluckin my own arpeggios.
Always movin with the sound,
On the ground, as I fall.
Never wanted to stop,
So before I walked... I learned to crawl.

-miguel

https://soundcloud.com/grasshop2/crawl

peace

Sense

I was too blind to notice,
Always looking over you.
Your scent lit up my world,
When the darkness made it blue.
I was too blind to see.
Never knew, until you bloomed
You were always the source
Of my favorite perfume.

-miguel

Enlightenment at the Laundromat

I was at the Laundromat. I bought a .99 book at the Goodwill about a week before: Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's and Three Stories. Being near the end of the school semester, I didn't want to start any long reads, so I've been reading the short stories while waiting for things I'd rather not be waiting for (Last week, "A Diamond Guitar" while waiting for my car at a mechanic's shop... This week, "A Christmas Memory" while at the laundromat). I loved reading this passage, as Buddy (a young boy) and his best friend (a 60-something elderly woman) are flying kites, accompanied by their dog, Queenie:

"My, how foolish I am!" my friend cries, suddenly alert, like a woman remembering too late she has biscuits in the oven. "You know what I've always thought?" she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me but a point beyond. "I've always thought a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord. And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window: pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don't know it's getting dark. And it's been a comfort: to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling. But I'll wager it never happens. I'll wager at the very end a body realized the Lord has already shown Himself. That things as they are" -her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone- "just what they've always seen, was seeing Him. As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes."

-Truman Capote

Maybe she's right. Maybe not. One day, we'll all find out.

In the meantime, I'll keep trying to open my eyes a little more, every day.

Fear and Conviction

With fear and conviction,
As I continue to grow.
With fear. And conviction,
I will finally know.

The shadow of my mind,
Casts doubt on my heart.
Still it binds my words,
Blinded from the start.

But blessed to be blind,
For eyes only deceive.
With my heart, I see clear,
A truth never naive.

If I am welcome, I rejoice,
And if not, may I heal.
Growing in my heart,
A love supreme, real.

A love I wish to share,
That I wish you would know.
But if not, may I go,
And by myself, let it grow.

By myself I might find,
A new life on the way.
But with you I might find,
A new life, everyday.

My eyes will go blind,
As I am guided by my heart.
May I find you, again,
Every time we depart.

-miguel