Enlightenment at the Laundromat

I was at the Laundromat. I bought a .99 book at the Goodwill about a week before: Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's and Three Stories. Being near the end of the school semester, I didn't want to start any long reads, so I've been reading the short stories while waiting for things I'd rather not be waiting for (Last week, "A Diamond Guitar" while waiting for my car at a mechanic's shop... This week, "A Christmas Memory" while at the laundromat). I loved reading this passage, as Buddy (a young boy) and his best friend (a 60-something elderly woman) are flying kites, accompanied by their dog, Queenie:

"My, how foolish I am!" my friend cries, suddenly alert, like a woman remembering too late she has biscuits in the oven. "You know what I've always thought?" she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me but a point beyond. "I've always thought a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord. And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window: pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don't know it's getting dark. And it's been a comfort: to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling. But I'll wager it never happens. I'll wager at the very end a body realized the Lord has already shown Himself. That things as they are" -her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone- "just what they've always seen, was seeing Him. As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes."

-Truman Capote

Maybe she's right. Maybe not. One day, we'll all find out.

In the meantime, I'll keep trying to open my eyes a little more, every day.

Fear and Conviction

With fear and conviction,
As I continue to grow.
With fear. And conviction,
I will finally know.

The shadow of my mind,
Casts doubt on my heart.
Still it binds my words,
Blinded from the start.

But blessed to be blind,
For eyes only deceive.
With my heart, I see clear,
A truth never naive.

If I am welcome, I rejoice,
And if not, may I heal.
Growing in my heart,
A love supreme, real.

A love I wish to share,
That I wish you would know.
But if not, may I go,
And by myself, let it grow.

By myself I might find,
A new life on the way.
But with you I might find,
A new life, everyday.

My eyes will go blind,
As I am guided by my heart.
May I find you, again,
Every time we depart.

-miguel

December Mile

A piece of heaven in December,
Like a smile from the dead.
Like a mile from the road,
With a clear path ahead.

Not a drop of confusion,
But so many drops of rain.
Feel your voice on my head,
As it seeps into my brain.

And the life you give me,
I'd as soon give to you.
But this Winter pain is mine.
It is not meant for two.

You might tug away,
To share the pain I remember.
Your willingness to share,
Is my heaven in December.

-miguel

Guest Writer

From "Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst," off of Kendrick Lamar's new album, good kid, m.A.A.d city:

"And I'm not sure why I'm infatuated with death.

My imagination is surely an aggravation of threats.

...

Maybe cuz I'm a dreamer and sleep is the cousin of death.

Really stuck in the schema of wondering when Imma rest."

I thought about these lines for a long time. I hope I live a long life. I hope to be a grandpa. I hope my wife becomes a grandma. I hope to be an old, old man :)
I hope I rid myself of silly thoughts that I won't have this.

Kendrick Lamar - Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst

Hey

Now. These days.
When I tell my mother,
"Hey, I Love You."
I believe that I do.
I believe I mean it.
I believe it is true.

-miguel

Familiar

The kid was walking home from school.
He looked right at me, and I at him.
He reminded me of someone I knew,
From a time in my greater youth.

His hair was terrible, as is mine.
Dried by the sun, only sleek in the rain.
Walking in clothes that didn't fit well-
Oblivious to this fact, as I always was.

The look in his eye was piercing,
I could not and would not forget.
I'm sure his heart was growing, still
To match the fire I caught in his eye.

As I passed I prayed that his day
Went as well as a day could pass.
If he was anything like me, well then,
He was probably waiting for tomorrow.

And if I could send any of my spirit
To anyone I wished in the world.
I might send a bit to this kid I saw
That reminded me of someone I knew.

-miguel

Ignorance

Didn't know as I
Put my fingers to the keys.
Didn't know as I
Put the floor on my knees.
Didn't know as I
Walked the 4am breeze.
Pressure, the spark plug,
On nights, such as these.

-miguel

Distant

As if I wanted nothing to do with you,
But that's not what I'm insinuating.
It's just that every thing I like about you,
Is what makes you so intimidating.

-miguel

I Won't Forget You

The every-moment thought:
Can I sink any lower?

So much to be grateful for.
And how I love it so.

Til the Human Condition strikes.
And stops me in my tracks.

It picks at me, the feast, and
From time to time, picks clean.

Depressed, a head so empty.
And so I recognize this.

Get through it. No bliss.
Get through it. Subsist.

Sunshine will bleed soon.
Til then I have you, my Moon.

My Moon. So beautiful.
I promise I won't forget you.

-miguel

All Around

It's a new day... It's a blue day.
They told me that I ought to get on my knees and pray.
Look right at the sky, towards the stars above.
Pray to the Most High, and ask for His love.

But no, I've never seen your figure up in a cloud.
I doubt it was your voice that made the thunder loud.
If I stare up long enough, will I see the Lord??
But my eyes would only water from the rain as it poured.

They throw blessings up at you each and every day.
And point to the sky when they get down to pray.
But I've never seen you there, and so it just seems.
I should tear through the sky and peek between the seams.

The hope gets lost, through seconds and minutes.
So my days of looking up may as well be finished.
You remain unseen, you don't want to show me,
Your face as a friend, pretend that you don't know me.

Then he lent me his hand, and he lifted me up.
And he gave me the strength, when I didn't have enough.
Then she held me close all through the Winter season.
She acted so kind for no apparent reason.

I stopped looking up, and I never let it down.
As I continue to find pieces of You right on our ground.
My ears pricked up, found that love was the sound.
I stopped looking above when I found You all around.

-miguel

Waiting

I am waiting.
Just waiting.
And that is all
I am doing.

But it is good.
A good wait.
Everyday.
Looking straight.

Learning about me.
Learning about you.
Embracing my faith.
Recognizing what's true.

And how is this life?
Alone, no crowd.
But I do have peace.
Because I am proud.


Proud of myself.
Proud of you.
Loud in stealth.
Proud to be true.

And have I even
Ever met you?
And am I even
Sure who I am?

I wait because
I am worth it.
Waiting because
You are worth it.

Waiting because
Perfect treasure
Needs time
To be unearthed.

Others may laugh.
Or try to rush it.
And miss the details
In the discussion.

But the details are
All that matter.
In a world of oversight.
Waiting brings me light.

So I will wait.
Patiently wait.
But that is not all
That I am doing.

-miguel

Contigo

No se si eres la verdad.
Y como puedo saber?
Pero yo se que en ti, creo.
Y contigo, todo puedo hacer.

-miguel

Falling Prayer

When did the answer to my prayer fall to me?
I will honestly say that I cannot remember.
It landed as lightly as the smallest snowflake,
In the dead center of my coldest December.

-miguel

http://soundcloud.com/grasshop2/falling-prayer

Pressure

One way to get it right,
Or two ways to get it wrong?
Or just a thought, caught in bed-
Stuck in my head, like her song.
In a moment, could be free,
Like a prisoner enraptured.
Or just some yard time,
Before the heart again is captured.

I start again, on the line,
Right at the beginning.
But my feet can't move, can't run-
Too scared of winning?
Like the chase, sweat, and doubt
Is all I'm to live for.
Never to own my home-
Only think of the decor.

But really it may be,
Much closer than it seems.
Though she shines so bright,
Like the Bay's midnight gleam.
A light too gorgeous,
To be handled by my eyes?
Or maybe this one chance,
Is no blessing in disguise.

It's right in plain sight.
It's me that stays hidden.
No cure, as I remain,
Sick as the bedridden.
But there should be no fear-
I own all that I am.
Just waiting for the chance,
To reach out for her hand.

-miguel

Immaculate Breakthrough

Do the knowledge. Knowledge of Self.
And sing it out loud.
Forget the others, know your wealth.
And make yourself proud.
Find the real behind the fiction,
And fix yourself true.
So when you view your own reflection,
You know it's just you.

Beautiful you... break through.

-miguel

At The End Of A Tunnel

Painting a bleak future with the grain of time's sands.
When I finished all I had left was time on my hands.
The picture melted out like the art of Salvador.
A trick I fell for, cape of a matador.
Maybe that or- perhaps I was wise the whole time?
Entrenched in the image of failure, my sole crime.

And if the fright of night is what keeps me moving towards the light,
I would keep the darkness close and never let it leave my sight.

 -miguel

Sonrisa

Sunrise. Now- Time to rise, my son.
You never know a day until the night's begun.
A lesson I repeated before the day was done,
With praise for Sun rays, as I raised my son.

-miguel

_____________________________________________

Just as the Rosebud will wait until the night is done,

In time you will bloom and shine your petals in the Sun. 
_____________________________________________

Memory, Loss

The look in my face,
Thoughts in my head,
Left without space,
To remember the dead.

The pull of my heart,
The will of my soul,
My brand new start,
Is darker than coal.

-miguel

When I Find You, My Dear

The words, sincere.
Ears, open to hear.
Truth, minus the fear,
So my intentions are clear.

The Sun is to appear
Whenever your light is near.
Three-sixty-five of those
Will make it the greatest year.

-miguel

61 Cents To Heaven

Kid is trippin off of miseducation-
So stay patient.
Scenes of failure make me wonder
If he can really face it?

A life just always out of reach.
A life just always out of time.
A life just always short a penny.
Two quarters. And a dime.

But the life is right there,
It's right there in his sight.
Hanging by a thread,
Like the anchor of a kite.

Life just past his fingertips,
As close as breath is to his lips.
Escaping grasp of fingertips,
Just as breath leaves his two lips.

Just a moment of your time-
It would be the biggest gift:
Could you stop for just one sec,
And please give him a lift?

-miguel + IONA

One

Moving on from you, as I know I must do.
Moving on from two, as this one must do.
Getting farther from one, calmly, and on cue.
Walking closer to The One, never-ever on the run.

-miguel

Shine

I only wish to bring life, like the shine of the Sun.
But without that shine, for I wish to blind no one.
Through my deeds, only, will my shine soon come.
Shine bright like the Son, 'til my time is done.

-miguel